Morning came with a sense of disorientation. I was in a new place, a different one smelling of cigarettes and body odor. My vision started to clear up, as much as it can without the aid of glasses. The room was filled with a diffuse yellow glow which surprised me. I had seen windows here, just didn't expect the light to reach this region. I went back into hibernate, my gaze becoming glassy, my breathing settling down. Zen master. I went over the events of last night, as crazy as a night had ever got in my life. I wondered if I could ever top that.
Delayed onset claustrophobia set in. Even the Zen master cant stay in this box for long. I had to get out. I got out of bed keeping my movements slow and compact, trying not to wake D up. The door is opened and the light streams in. Squinting against it I step out. The scene from the balcony was chaotic. The road narrower than it has any right to be with traffic movement bidirectional, barely. No side walk of course. A stream of humanity moving on either side competing with the vehicles for space, as good a cross-section of society in this part of Bangalore as any. The door opened behind me again. D stood there rubbing the sleep from his eyes, not the type to just lie in bed as he wakes I guess.
"Morning!" I said faking an enthusiasm that I didn't feel. He looked at me with narrowed eyes, "You are a cynical asshole." I stopped smiling like a mad man and shrugged. "Checkout is at 12 right? We will have to make a move soon." "And what then?""We get something to eat, kill some time and then go back. Sounds good?" He nodded his assent and went back in. In 30 min both of us were ready to leave and we checked out.
Budgetary constraints meant that we eat someplace cheap. Having time to kill meant that we could go a little far away. My lack of knowledge of Bangalore meant that we ended up going back to Brigade road. .....
Yeah ....
We ended up going to Mc Ds, the afternoon sunshine making us sweat as we walked through the semi-familiar streets, so ridiculously different in daylight. We ordered our lunch and move to a floor above. Packed as it was we found two seats. We had to share the tables with two girls roughly the same age as us. Pretty. But very much on guard. They weren't looking for a conversation. They were simply waiting for someone else.
You know those scenes in movies which just happen and the awkward guy completely fumbles up the lines with the girl, any girl who he happens to be with? And you laugh knowing that if you were in that position you would be cool as fuck? Yeah well turns out those idiots were a lot more brave than you cause you have no freaking idea what to say to them. you just look at anything except them trying not to look at them.
Thats when D decides to message me.
D: talk to them.
HC: What?! No!
D: Talk to them. Talk about anything.
HC: Are you out off your mind! They are unapproachable!
D: Dude just do it.
This went on for a while until I decided to end it by going to the restroom. When I came out the twosome were gone. "Why would you do that?" I demanded."To make you get over your approach anxiety. It was the first step." "I don't want to be a PUA"
I should probably explain.
D was a legit Pick-up-artist; PUA for short. A pickup artist (commonly abbreviated PUA) is a person who practices finding, attracting, and seducing sexual partners. (Wikipedia, right?)
He was introduced to this world by an older friend. A mentor. A guy he respects quite a bit. I don't know if D was pathetic when he was younger or if he had a bad breakup with his first girlfriend, whatever the reason this Raaz Al Ghul took him under his wing and taught him the ways of football and women. This kid who had no real need for game with his looks now had a significant amount of it. And he was attempting to pass it on to me. I think he saw me as some kind of a social project. I was too curious to be insulted though.
Approach anxiety is what you feel when you have to approach and talk to a complete stranger. Everybody has it, except maybe kids. Somewhere along the way as we grow up, it stops being cute and becomes ...well.. creepy. How is it that you can barrel through the situation with no idea what the next words out of your mouth are going to be.
"If you wanted to speak to them yourself you should have gone ahead and done so. I don't think they would talk to you either."
"No.. They would talk to me."
"How would you know?"
"They were interested in me."
"Conceited much? Did you notice them looking at everything except you."
"Looking at everything I looked at."
"Come again?"
"They were looking at everything I looked at. I looked at the TV for a while and then they followed my line of sight. Same thing when I looked in a completely random direction. They were very aware of me. Pretty simple method of gauging their reaction to you."
I just sat there, stunned and then jealous. He looked around for a bit and said, "Why don't you go ahead and wait for me outside? I'll come out in a bit." I left without another word. At the entrance of Mc D I stood looking at people moving in and out feeling out of place even here. Confidence is key. Just move in and let the Dice fall as they may. Once you are used to this go ahead and take control of situations little by little. That's how he learnt I bet.
I was lost in my own thoughts when I was snapped back to the present. D was coming out and following his lead where 2 girls. That sonafabitch!
The women in question were your average Bangalore girls. Casual clothing, somewhat minimal makeup, 20yr old. We were introduced to each other. Their names.... Well I don't remember them now so lets call them X and Y. X and Y were doing their MBA in Bangalore. Both were from Jamshedpur and had studied one year apart. The only thing I knew about Jamshedpur was that there was a Tata Steel plant there thanks to which infrastructure was pretty good. Apparently water can be drunk straight from the tap.
I verified this immediately. Yeah.. Real smooth talker I am. Anyway they were about to go shopping after their lunch when they were approached by a young man. D later told me that his approach was a simple one, he saw two young women relaxed probably easy to talk to if maybe a bit older than he was. Apparently they laughed when he first talked to them but it was more out of flattery than anything else. He pushed a bit more and they agreed.
The 4 of us decided to go to Garuda Mall. On the way there X and D were having a good time. I was left trying to strike a conversation with Y. Of the 2 Y was the less attractive one, not that they were supremely attractive to begin with. She was a bit plain, not fat not thin. Not very easy to talk to either. In any case I was in no condition to talk. Shit like this never happens in real life, much less mine. D was showing me how things that I believed were impossible were actually commonplace. After a while I realised that I was neglecting my role as host and became more active in the conversation.
On the way to Garuda Mall, X asked me something I have never been asked before." What's your caste?" For a while I just looked at her, not sure if I had heard her correctly. "What?" "What is your caste?" "Um.... I'm Christian." "Oh." "Is that a problem? I have never been asked anything like that in the 18 yrs I have lived in Bangalore." She didn't give me a satisfactory answer as to why she wanted to know. It coloured my perception of her for the remainder of time we spent together.
We were soon in Garuda Mall, the women asking us questions about the various aspects of med school while we asked about their course. D kept the conversation playful and light. At Garuda Mall we wandered a bit and checking out the arcades. There was a product launch, Panasonic makeup and accessories. They had organized a kind of Fashion show for that where you can get a makeover done for free. X and Y were pretty excited about it discussing whether or not X should take part. They decided against it in the end and that was that.
We left the place soon after as it was time for our train back.They accompanied us on the bus and we parted ways. We got to the station to find the train leaving. Neither of us was willing to run after it and it was already a ways off. Not a problem. There was another one about 2 hrs later. The wonders of a General Ticket.
D received a call at that point. It was X asking us whether we caught the train or not. (Yes, D gave her his number.) The next bit I could hear even though I was a couple of feet away from him.
"YOU MISSED YOUR TRAIN! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! ARE YOU A CHILD? HOW CAN YOU BE SO IRRESPONSIBLE! WHERE ARE YOU GUYS NOW? COME OUTSIDE, WE ARE COMING THERE!"
The call was cut. D looked at me while I struggled to hide my laughter. Voice shaking, I said, "I think we should go outs-". " Yeah I know "
And so we stood outside the station. They found us in about 15 min. It was all very surreal. We barely knew these people. We had just met today. So why do they care so much? Was she interested in D? I had no illusions as far as I was concerned so I knew that I barely registered in her radar. But still this can't be considered normal behavior right?
The next few minutes saw D calming X down telling her about the next train. "Even we are not worried about this at all so why are you so strung up over this?", I added. She pretended that she did not hear me.Yup definitely don't register on her radar.
For the rest of the conversation X was strangely silent and just looks around. Y takes a much bigger role now needling D with Questions. D later told me that it was actually Xs words. What was happening was that X was interested in D and had hence conscripted Y to ask him things, like his relationship status. I don't know whether he knows what he is saying or he is just making it upon the fly. I tried to engage X in conversation but got only monosyllabic responses for my trouble. I wondered is she thought she was being mysterious.
Soon it was time for them to leave so we said our goodbyes with the mood of a possible future meeting. It didn't happen, we never saw them again.
D and I waved them off and just stood there watching them blend into the crowd. It was time for our train. Neither of us said a word as we went back to the station, not when we got on the train. The two of us sat down an the floor of the train, at the door, legs hanging of the edge. We just sat there looking at the poles flash by, watching the setting sun turn the sky golden red. A day had passed. I had lived more in that day than in a year. And the bastard sitting next to me was responsible. "Thanks man", I said, gratitude feeling wrong in my mouth. " Hmmm?", he said obviously not listening. That was completely fine by me. "Noth-FUCK!"
A station where we did not have a stop had just passed by. And my foot cliped the platform as we passed it jerking my knee in a direction it couldn't go. Thankfully nothing happened. After few minutes D said, "I didn't say it then cause I know you would have been pissed but are my shoes OK." I glared at D and he seemed to deflate a bit.
We got to our station and managed to get to our room. The shoes were fine except for a skid mark on the sole. In the room D starred receiving texts from X, he replied for a day or two but after that he completely cold shouldered her. He talked about going into the city again and I agreed to go with him. That didn't happen of course. In a month or so he got admission at another med school closer to his home. He left quickly in less than two days leaving the rest of us with funny stories about a very funny guy.
My experience of living with that asshole changed me, woke me up to the fact that the contentment I thought I had felt was in fact resignation. He made me want more from life and at the same time make me aware that that may not be possible. I don't expect to have good luck with women, that is one area I have completely given up on. But I want to live life on my terms, on the edge and feeling alive. I am thankful to him and I hate him for it.
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